Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a fricken book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother [...]

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Deck My Balls
Deck my balls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tap the keg, inflate the dolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Don we now our rubber panties,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
We’re a bunch of twisted Santies,
Fa la la la la, la la la [...]

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The BDSM Days of Christmas
On the 1st day of Christmas, my MASTER gave to me…
A Small Feather Pillow for my knees.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my MASTER gave to me…
2 Nipple Clamps and
a Small Feather Pillow for my knees.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my MASTER gave to me…
3 Blindfolds,
2 Nipple Clamps and
a Small [...]

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If you’re on AOL, did you know you can IM Santa?
My IM with the fat guy follows.
==========================================
TooAgain: Morning, Santa!
SantaClaus: Have you made any Christmas cookies yet?
I’m known to be partial to them. If you need a little
help getting started, type “recipes”.
TooAgain: I hate cooking, man.
SantaClaus: Help spread holiday cheer with some of these
great [...]

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The Top 18 Warning Labels on Toys
18> G.I. JOE: “Warning: The term ‘Action figure’ is a
euphemism for ‘dolly’.”
17> EZ BAKE OVEN: “Light bulb heating unit is warm enough to
melt crayons, but will not affect e-coli bacteria.”
16> POKEMON: “This toy will result in your first addiction.
Cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, and heroin will
inevitably follow.”
15> YAHTZEE!: “Game score [...]

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Fill the House
(sung to the tune of Deck the Halls)
Fill the house with jubilation!
fa la la la la la la la la.
Billy Bob is on probation.
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Ellie slept with brother Chester!
Fa la la la la la la la la.
Now she’s in her 3rd trimester.
Fa la la la la [...]

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